I really don’t understand life or people or the actions people make.
What I have strived to understand for a long time is why are we all here.
What are we meant to do or be while we exist? It seems like some people are driven by money but what’s the point in that? When your 80 years old what’s a sports car going to do for you? Then there are people that are driven by curiosity why this and if I do this what will happen? I sometimes find myself saying why and maybe if and what if? Then there are those driven by love I classify myself most with this category. I find myself driven to love and seek out love.
But life and people aren’t that easy just to be able to bring someone whole existence to love. Life is way to complicated and people are too…. well plain and simple “fucked up“. Even if you can find that one person that makes you feel like you could walk through fire and they feel the same towards you it doesn’t mean “shit”. I always thought love is it, it’s the answer everything bad will melt away with love. But then reality strikes when loves involved everything you feel is intensified the good, the bad, and the ugly. And boy have I been seeing a lot of bad and ugly lately. You know how your mom tells you when your younger you will know when you find your one and only? Well she’s not telling you it will be so obvious because your heart will lay scattered in pieces more then once by this person. And your head will be so foggy you will feel like a smoke machine went off in there. I have come to realize if you find that all magically happily ever after and it seems that perfect, there’s something there hiding under the surface. I know some people reading this are going to disagree but there is no perfect there’s always a flaw a blemish nothing is perfect “EVER”. An if you think there is such a thing as perfection sucks to be you. So maybe you should grab some Vicodin. Because when your bubble is popped the pain of reality is going to hurt a lot.
I have had multiple bubbles popped throughout my life. You would think I learn to stay out of fantasy land by now. But I guess dreamers dream, too bad dreamers sometimes evoke nightmare unknowingly. And sometimes lovers evoke heartache all while knowing it’s a big possibility from the beginning. I wonder why sometimes it feels like we have take the odds even if there not really in our favor? Is it some way we punish ourselves by going into something that doesn’t seem like a good idea to begin with? Or do we believe that we are so amazing and wonderful we can make it work no matter what stands in our way? I mean there is that person that said love conquers all I really wish sometimes I could just kick that “bastard” in the face and tell him to shut it! But were always going to have those up beat positive whispers clouding our better judgment I guess we got to pick and choose when to listen. Because I have found more so then not it is a good idea to judge a book by it’s cover. And you can’t survive on love alone unless you plan on becoming a cannibal and eating the one you love when your hungry. And I don’t know about you, but if I can’t eat veal or lamb because there too cute I am never going to be able to eat Tom, Dick or Harry!
